It has been an interesting weekend.  We dug out the Christmas decorations, and began decorating the house.  It was interesting, because I received all the Christmas decorations (from growing up) after my mom died in 1998.  No one else in the family wanted any of it.

It was an odd event, because everything that my siblings didn’t want was offered to me.  I guess they had their reasons for handling it this way.  Anyway, I am digressing.  It was odd this year, because I decided to go through all the decorations.  I wanted to see if there were any items that I could donate to the less-fortunate. 

Through this process, I felt sad, and missed my mom.  Her favorite holiday was Christmas.  There were always lights on the house, a tree in the living room and decorations everywhere.  When we were kids, I remember decorating the tree.  Actually, good memories came flooding back.

How does one move on past the loss of a loved one?  I think we develop little rituals that help us remember the good things, and focus on the present.  My mom was cremated, and placed in a spot in the cemetery (next to a spot that my dad is supposed to be put).  It seems odd that I’ve never visited her there. 

I go to the beach.  What I remember most about my mom is Christmas and the beach.  When I was young, we went to Pebble Beach on Camano Island.  It’s a private beach, but most of the people remembered my mom growing up there, and let us spend time playing in the water.  It would be mom, my brother, me and my cousins (and their moms).  I know that my dad must have come sometimes, but I don’t remember him there.

So when I visit my mom, I go to the beach.   This year on the 20th, I’ll go to the beach, and light a white candle. . .

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

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