Taking Stock of One’s Life

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belief, change, choices, faith, Healing, personal growth

Every once in a while, we need to step back and take stock of our life.  These events are usually proceeded with a major change.  It thrusts us into a space that is unknown and scary.

I get an opportunity to travel this path.  It is a time for personal introspection and growth.  In some ways, I think I have been preparing for this change the past couple of years.  It’s something that I have put out to the Universe, and it’s finally returning.

The change is my main source of income.  It appears that I have one more week of it, then I am free.  It feels really odd, yet it is a bit scary.  What do I do now?

I’ve felt the change coming the past year or so.  I’ve struggled through some challenging times, yet always made it work.  I think that today I am at a better place than a year ago.

In some ways, it is a relief.  I have an answer to my question.  I am pretty sure of the outcome.  I have time to prepare, and move forward.

I think the key is keeping a positive attitude and outlook.  Faith is a big factor in moving forward, and onto bigger and better things.

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

Re-Discovering Self

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change, choices, Healing, healthy, moving on, personal growth, personal power

Be an Individual in the Crowd. . .

Life is a circle.  Technically it is a spiral upwards.  We keep learning and evolving within our own being, to become better people.  We search for happiness.  We search for fulfilment.  Really, we are searching for ourselves.

I haven’t written lately, because I am struggling with my writing.  It is hard to express ideas that have not come full-circle to completion.  It’s been a time of personal growth, and learning.

I discovered that I am hiding from the world, and looking out from under my “rock” or safe place.  It’s easy to hide.  It’s harder to step out, and announce “here I am!”

I’ve been through 15 years of great emotional, physical and spiritual transitions.  It’s been a LONG time, and I am so happy for the positive change that is evolving in my life right now.

I discovered that the only thing I felt I owned was my photography.  I clung to it like a life-raft, hoping to survive the storm in my life.  Now, it’s time to let it go to the world.  The storm is over. . .thankfully.

So, how does one emerge into the world a changed and strong person?

. . .with courage, bravery and gusto!

Life is too short to dwell on the short-comings of one’s self or others.  Fear keeps everyone at arm’s length, and stops the positive flow of abundance into one’s life.  It stops a person from evolving, growing and becoming themself.

I was afraid that someone would come in and take my photography away from me.  I sank so low, that I could not see that the world did not work that way.  All I saw was the “things” that kept leaving my life, instead of the opportunities that were opening up.

Today, I am able to write.  I see the world in all its beauty.  My hope for the world it that more people find their way to themselves, so we can make a peaceful world for all.

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

Rites of Passage

Tags

belief, change, choices, death & dying, family, life, parkinson's disease

I spent the weekend with my in-laws.  It’s always insightful.  My father-n-law has Parkinson’s.

Each time we visit, a little piece of him has slipped away, and he has moved closer to dying.  His dementia is clouding his thoughts and actions.  He is living in an assisted care facility, but still visits the house he called home.

Even though he is not my father, the visits bring up emotions, and many thoughts.  I’ve come to some powerful realizations about life.

I think the biggest realization is that life is part of dying.  Each breathe we take is one less we have before we die.  So many times, we get caught up in life.  We only see the small menial things, such as getting to an appointment on time or getting the car repaired.

We forget that these “things” are small, and allow them to over-run our lives.  We become robots, turn off our emotions, and drudge through the day.  The world becomes a dark, lonely place.

Sometimes, my words only come out in a poem.  So. . .

Rites of Passage

living is part of dying
slowly slipping towards
our last breath

trials line our pathway
as we journey towards perfection
disappointment, disillusionment
seep into our minds
through dementia

Yet. . .

we move forward
breathing in our life
exhaling fear and uncertainty

trials become lessons
perfection changes to self-acceptance
disappointment and disillusionment
melt away into faith
through courage

rites of passage. . .

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

Invisibility is for Super Heroes

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abuse issues, belief, change, child, choices, forgiveness, Healing, health, healthy, life, moving on, personal growth, personal power, present

Invisibility is for Super Heroes.  It doesn’t work well as a belief system for living a happy, healthy and full life.  Trying to be invisible is a way of life. . .something we learn from our families of origin, traumatic events in our lives or simply fear.

When we are children, being invisible can be the only physical thing that keeps us alive into adulthood.  Adults can rage, and parents can rage too.  If our parents raged at us, we learned to be afraid, and withdraw from the world.

It’s the withdrawal that makes us feel invisible.

Being invisible hurts us as children, adults and as human beings.  Fear is a very powerful tool/weapon to wield in a family or in society.

The other part of invisibility is that everyone else still sees us.  We try to hide, but we don’t disappear.  Our actions speak of low self-esteem or anger or negative attitudes or. . .

So, what is the solution?

We need to find ourselves.  It is a job of salvaging our broken emotions, feelings, dreams, thought processes and physical bodies.  It is learning a different way of being, and forgiving.  Forgiving ourselves for believing the other person(s) outbursts, and the other person(s) for their outbursts.

Broken people usually unconsciously pass on their issues to other people close to them.  The easiest people to give it to are other broken people or children.  Each of us is responsible to realize the issues that we carry, and to heal from them.

So, Invisibility is best left for Super Heroes. . .

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

Seeking Solitude

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belief, change, choices, faith, Healing, health, healthy, inner thoughts, life, personal growth, personal power, self discovery, walking on the beach

There are moments in life, where the chaos of the outside world invade one’s inner sanctum.  Thoughts and voices keep playing through one’s mind, and infiltrate every aspect of one’s life.  These are the symptoms of losing one’s self in the outside world.  It’s time to seek solitude. . .

Solitude is intentionally being alone.  It means stepping outside one’s daily life to spend time with one’s self, without interruptions from anyone known.  It makes time to find one’s self. . .

We each have our own outlet for seeking solitude.  Mine is going out into nature with my camera.  Once behind the lens, the world disappears, and the only thing that exists is the subject of the photograph.

Another equally powerful way to travel the path of self-discovery it to journal or write.  It take courage to write down our inner thoughts, because one cannot deny what has been written.  Though, our individual troubles seem to fall into perspective once placed on a piece of paper. . .

Sometimes, simply walking on the beach listening to the waves brings back a sense of self.  It truly is time spent alone, without input from other people.  Each of us need time to re-charge our batteries, and find quietness. . .

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

 

What if. . .

Tags

belief, change, choices, death & dying, faith, healthy, life, moving on, personal growth, personal power, spiritual

What if I did something different?  What if things were different?  Would that have happened, if I had done something different?  What if. . .

Second guessing oneself is common when traversing though situations that are highly emotional or unfamiliar.  It’s that little voice that creeps in after making a life altering decision, or change.  It challenges us when we have regrets.  It haunts us with sudden loss or huge changes.

It is these small microcosm that creep slowly into out thoughts when we have doubts.

I made a decision today.  I decided to let go of a lot of physical possessions.  I am choosing to move, travel, create and live life over having too many possessions.  There is something to the old adage “he with the most toys still dies.”  The question is, does he with the most toys have a happy and spiritual life?  Or, is he chained to all his responsibilities (aka his toys)?

It becomes a question of do we control our lives, or do our things control it?  Things could be defined as our possessions, thoughts, ideas, paradigms, circumstances, relationships or religion.  How can we begin to find “GOD/Goddess”, if we are distracted by all the things we have collected to fill our space?

I feel like I’ve woken up from a long sleep, and am looking around at the world for the first time in years.  I’ve been drowning in confusion that has been generated by dis-organized possessions, people dying, friends leaving, moving, loosing a house, a father-n-law with a terminal illness, and trying to keep the family financially stable.

I think it’s time to let it all go. . .

These are times that require getting away from the situation, and finding one’s self.  It is a process of being alone, and writing, thinking or praying.  It is different for everyone.  For me, it is a day behind the camera out in nature, and a blog entry or two.  For others, it’s a journal entry while enjoying a coffee at the local coffee shop.  We are all different.

While all this sounds simple, it does contribute to feelings of depression, being overwhelmed and out of control of our lives.  Times like this try our faith and belief in the world.  It tests our strength in the Creator, and the path of our individual lives.  It challenges us to look past placing blame.  It asks us to look at ourselves and change.

So, what if we did change?  What would happen if we walked out the door, opened our arms to the world, and saw the entire world for the first time?  What if we noticed the subtle colors of a flower, or that a water drop reflects the world like a fish-eye lens?

Where would we be?

What would we feel?

What does unconditional love feel like?

Ask what if. . .and the possibilities are endless. . .

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

When Things Crash. . .

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belief, change, choices, faith, Healing, health, healthy, left turn, life, moving on, personal growth, personal power, personal world, slow dance, spiritual, time of faith, unwavering belief

After juggling too many responsibilities for many years, there comes a time when things crash.  It’s not a horrible, death knoll.  It is a slow dance of change that takes a sharp left turn, sending everything off-balance and crashing to the ground.

It is a time that opens up opportunities to change, and decide what is truly important in life.  It is a time of faith, and unwavering belief.

People live and die.  Our thoughts live and die.  Our beliefs live, can be shaken and sometimes die or change.  We are the product of these changes in our personal world.  These are opportunities to change and grow.

The only thing we can count on in this life is change.  This moment is going to be different from all the other moments in the past, present and future.

Another equally disturbing truth is that we do not own the past or future.  The only thing we have ownership and control over is this moment in time called the present, and our own actions to the world around us is what we control.

Each thought fills a split-second, and it controls what path we are heading down into the future.  Our thoughts create who we perceive ourselves to be, not what other people think of us.  We create our own, unique set of circumstances that becomes the backdrop for our life.

With that said, can other entities influence or control our lives?  Yes, but not without the correct set of thoughts and experiences from us.

When we are children, our parents control what we learn, experience and feel.  Some allow children to learn from experience, guiding them from their past experiences.  Other parents tell their children how to see the world, what to feel and limit their ideas on “good” and “evil”.

It’s easy to fall into the idea that others are responsible for one’s life issues, if their childhood was controlled by over-bearing parents.  We tend to create our lives around what is familiar or well-known.  It is difficult to change to another idea, when one does not have the knowledge base of that idea.  Hence, it is easier not to change.

So, when things go crash, it is a signal that changes need to be made in one’s life.  It can be challenging, but that is the perfect time for faith, belief and courage.

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

 

Personal Power

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belief, change, choices, death & dying, democratic processes, faith, family, Friends, Healing, health, healthy, life, motivator, moving on, nourishment, one moment, past, personal growth, personal power, present, safe place, spiritual

Personal power comes from within each of us.  We possess the most powerful ability to control and shape our own lives.  We choose everyday with every thought we think, every action we take and every word we speak.  We make the choice to be a victim, a winner, beautiful, ugly, happy, sad. . .

Our power comes from the Creator, in his/her many forms.  It is given to us at birth, and many times striped from us in childhood.  As adults, we can re-claim our own power, become our own person and rise above all the challenges in our lives.

We have the opportunity to become what we dream, or accept what others think we should be.  Taking our personal power back can be frightening, and a big fearful event.  It is not easy saying no to people you “love” or are “friends.”  It is easier to stay in the “status quo”, and forget about our dreams.

The moment we refuse our personal power, we choose to walk among the “living dead”.  We choose to allow our dreams to die, and we die emotionally, spiritually and physically.  We create the diseases that ravish our bodies through our choices.

We have the power to change.

We have the power to be powerful, spiritual human beings.  We can make these choices at any age.  Excuses allow us to stay in the “safe” place, where our spirit cries out for nourishment.  It is a place where we walk among the “living dead”.  We cease to have dreams.  We cease to contribute to the evolution of our society and democratic processes.  We cease to live life, and die inside.

The choice is ours to make.  We can run and hide.  Or, we can become brave, and face our deepest fears.  Our deepest pain in life is also our biggest asset to fuel changing our lives.  Fear is the biggest motivator we have.  We choose to be afraid, or to have faith.

Those living nightmares from the past are simply that. . .in the past.  We do not own the past or the future.  All we have is the present.  We are not guaranteed that we will be alive one moment from now.  We have a choice to live or die.  We make this choice every moment of every day.  The choice is ours.

From hence I came. . .

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

From Hence I Came. . .

Tags

change, choices, graditude, health, healthy, passion, peaceful, personal growth, present, thankful

The aw-ha moment came with a moment of self-realization.  I had fallen into a dark place with major life changes and the death of my mom.  It was easier not to remember who I was, and pretend that the world was different from it was.

Those dark places eat at the very essence of our souls, and crush every ounce of creativity in our being.  It’s easy to get lost in the darkness, and buy into the pictures of fear.  I fell very deeply into this great abyss.

A couple of days ago, the light came back on.  It has been a few years, and I’ve struggled every moment of every day.  Now, I can say, “I’m back.”

I’ve started a new project titled “From Hence I Came.”  It is a short video and book.  The video is complete, and posted on Youtube.com (at PhotoKLU).  The book will be finished in 2012.  It’s time to live life.

I think the changes have been brought on by a decision to post a photo a day for the next 365 days on Facebook.  It keeps the creative channels open, allowing my bruised spirit to heal from the trauma of the past few years.

I am very grateful to all the people with positive words, that have found their way into my life.  I have been inspired by great photographers, such as Bryan F Peterson, Art Wolf, Dewitt Jones and Jerry Downs.  I am grateful for the incredible beauty of their work.

Gratitude creates the abundance we require to live our lives.  It brings in the people needed to move us forward to our goals. . .

Love & Light to All. . .Karen

A Cold January Day

Tags

belief, change, choices, death & dying, healthy, life, personal growth, thankful

It’s a cold January day, and I sit here remembering the past.  It’s easy to get caught up in all the emotions, and lose perspective.  The snow falls outside, and the chill permeates the house.

It’s not a sad or happy series of events.  It’s simply my past, present and future coming together on a cold January day.

Just before Christmas 13 years ago, my mom died from an infection.  She had refused to seek medical treatment for it, until it was too late.  She had a choice in how she died. . .cancer or infection.  She chose to go earlier with the infection.

Looking back over the past 13 years, I see a series of collapses and rebuilding.  Grief is a challenging series of events to traverse, and keep life in perspective or balance.

Personally, I had the ground fall out from beneath me, and found myself homeless for several weeks.  It’s been a long, slow and difficult path to keeping my life together.  I am thankful for all the events.  They have helped me grow as a person.

I collapsed under a series of major stresses in my life.  It started with leaving a corporate job, having major surgery, helping a homeless friend and living without a job.  It was the first start of my business, and it failed to thrive.

I think the biggest thing is to embrace the events, emotions and challenges during times of change.  Grief comes from many different life events. . .not just death of a friend or family member.

Life is a constant flow of changes.  I have learned to be open to the flow, and navigate the path.  It is a challenge with a child and disabled partner, but one that is working.  I have accomplished putting a financial groundwork together, that will help us become successful.

It came down to a choice for me.  I could choose to stay down, or pick myself back up.  It’s been a long path to putting all the pieces of my life together again, and in a better way.  The lessons along the way have made me stronger and smarter.

Love & Light to All. . .Karen